you know they're stranded on my mind.
Listening to Joshua Radin, curled up in bed, and it's hard to keep my eyes open. But I promised a blog, and I'm trying to learn the whole...reliable thing. I think I like it.
Today has been a day of...wandering. Mentally that is. I made it to all of my classes, which I for one am happy about. But I feel like I'm slipping a little bit. I'm not here right now. I am, but I'm tired, I'm tired and my soul is in that place it goes to when it wants to leave, and the rest of me just has to deal for a little bit. Usually a good nights rest does the trick. It used to happen weeks on end. I'm not willing to go back to that place in my mind, or in my being. But I am constantly afraid of going there. Maybe, maybe I need a continuous problem that I have no control over. Maybe in this case I'm cultivating it within me...because the chaos is my own form of stability.
Or maybe I'm just super fucking tired.
Something to re-visit tomorrow. I know, the suspense will kill you, but: skin against skin, how healing and warm it is. Sleeping comfortably, allowing comfort in my sleep, the simplicity company evokes from me, the emotions I haven't felt for awhile.
In other areas: the darkness in me, the memories I run away from because I fear them. The suspicions I hold for something in the universe that will never leave my mind, but I need to feel release from. (Yay abstract healing).
For now, sleep. My goodness. Sleep
Listening to Joshua Radin, curled up in bed, and it's hard to keep my eyes open. But I promised a blog, and I'm trying to learn the whole...reliable thing. I think I like it.
Today has been a day of...wandering. Mentally that is. I made it to all of my classes, which I for one am happy about. But I feel like I'm slipping a little bit. I'm not here right now. I am, but I'm tired, I'm tired and my soul is in that place it goes to when it wants to leave, and the rest of me just has to deal for a little bit. Usually a good nights rest does the trick. It used to happen weeks on end. I'm not willing to go back to that place in my mind, or in my being. But I am constantly afraid of going there. Maybe, maybe I need a continuous problem that I have no control over. Maybe in this case I'm cultivating it within me...because the chaos is my own form of stability.
Or maybe I'm just super fucking tired.
Something to re-visit tomorrow. I know, the suspense will kill you, but: skin against skin, how healing and warm it is. Sleeping comfortably, allowing comfort in my sleep, the simplicity company evokes from me, the emotions I haven't felt for awhile.
In other areas: the darkness in me, the memories I run away from because I fear them. The suspicions I hold for something in the universe that will never leave my mind, but I need to feel release from. (Yay abstract healing).
For now, sleep. My goodness. Sleep
2 comments:
You are always so unusually cryptic, and I wonder if there's a reason for that or if that's the way your writing is. Either way, I'll always enjoy your writing.
If I could show you how I feel,
I'd hear sweet heaven sing your song.
But I watch you from afar,
And my luck keeps dragging on...
last night was mainly due to the fact that i was exhausted, and not coherent in any specific way. =P
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