Hey there Demetrius

I miss my home. I miss the trees, the comfort of flat land, and the consistency of comfort that I find there. I miss the farmland and the deer. I miss my father, and I even miss his girlfriend. Strange, I know. But.

I miss being home.

It's so odd to me that chunks of my life have been cut out of my memory. A friend asked me about a birthday party I had when I was 12, when it was snowing, and I couldn't remember. I remembered meeting at a gas station. But I don't remember much more of it. I might only remember the snow because I have access to the sight of it here. I'm on the verge of something, but I don't actually want to get to the end of the destination. Or I'm crazy, which is not a happy alternative.

I've been feeling paranoid today. Wondering if people are sharing looks behind my back, sharing brief words, sharing a sense of 'know' regarding me. I just had a feeling, and it's a feeling that really put me off. It doesn't help that my girl parts hurt like a bitch. Partially because I hit them REALLY hard with a poi ball. 

I miss S, a lot. More than I want to admit via the internet. But surprise. Sleeping beside her made me feel...comfortable. I was tired the whole weekend, but there were plenty of reasons that stacked up my exhaustion. Honestly, I don't know. I haven't felt like this in a really long time. I wish I could have access to her...always. Not just sporadic weekends when I drive home, or she drives to Asheville. But I'll be home in two weeks, which I'm actually incredibly excited about.

I miss my best friend. I miss Dot more than anything. I miss the buzz I get when I'm with her. I feel more comfortable with her than almost anyone else in the world, disregarding family. I wish she were a part of my everyday life again, but I know she will be eventually. We've both got a lot of work to do before then, though. I feel like we will reconnect in proximity once we're both settled. You know, when we can walk our dogs and walk with strollers that have little babies in them. *gasp*

I think the most beautiful sensation in the world is the feel of skin against skin. It's intoxicating and addicting and it makes everything negative in the world melt away...drifting to another part of the universe where it can't touch you. I forgot about breathing kisses that provide you with the illusion that two people are in fact one, and it doesn't relate to sex. It's something completely different, but equally as beautiful. 

Interlock your fingers with my own...

I feel more...I don't know. I feel a little detached from reality. It happens sometimes, and it isn't as bad as it was last night, but it's still weird. I won't go so far as to say uncomfortable, but it's distracting and annoying. Not so much scary like it used to be. Just ever-changing.

I'm glad classes were cancelled today. I got good rest.