The last few days have been building up, building around me. I've got my fever back. My rage of a fever. Not sickness, but fire. Anger, frustration void of apathy.
I want to smoke a cigarette and I don't even smoke. I'm craving a parliament. It's the only kind of cigarette I can smoke. Primarily because I inhaled enough second hand smoke from that brand a year and a half ago.
I'm exhausted, from my own doing. But I always welcome self progressing conversation that doesn't involve chatting.
I need my own space...somewhere. I feel tightly wound in my own room. Tightly wound and incapable of expressing myself. Which makes being a relative hermit difficult because I need a place to retreat to, where I won't be judged.
As much as it may not seem like it, I am 100% capable of taking care of myself. I don't need to lean on anyone else. People go through stages, and I can guarantee, if you understood why I got to where I was last semester, the place I am getting myself away from, you would have about 5% of the strength I have. I can't help that some days I want to stay in bed.
I feel like I'm here. But I feel like some of my friends are a bit...distant to say the least.
My computer is getting fixed. Thank god. I miss finding new music.
In other news, Psychology is going splendidly. Hooray for amazing people in classes. This semester is still covered in mystery, and I wonder where it will end up taking me. Whenever life gets clouded like this (in a positive sense), usually the things I least expect to happen, happen.
I want to smoke a cigarette and I don't even smoke. I'm craving a parliament. It's the only kind of cigarette I can smoke. Primarily because I inhaled enough second hand smoke from that brand a year and a half ago.
I'm exhausted, from my own doing. But I always welcome self progressing conversation that doesn't involve chatting.
I need my own space...somewhere. I feel tightly wound in my own room. Tightly wound and incapable of expressing myself. Which makes being a relative hermit difficult because I need a place to retreat to, where I won't be judged.
As much as it may not seem like it, I am 100% capable of taking care of myself. I don't need to lean on anyone else. People go through stages, and I can guarantee, if you understood why I got to where I was last semester, the place I am getting myself away from, you would have about 5% of the strength I have. I can't help that some days I want to stay in bed.
I feel like I'm here. But I feel like some of my friends are a bit...distant to say the least.
My computer is getting fixed. Thank god. I miss finding new music.
In other news, Psychology is going splendidly. Hooray for amazing people in classes. This semester is still covered in mystery, and I wonder where it will end up taking me. Whenever life gets clouded like this (in a positive sense), usually the things I least expect to happen, happen.
2 comments:
You are going to get so much second-hand Parliament smoke in a week.
I feel like I'm here. But I feel like some of my friends are a bit...distant to say the least.
we should really pick up writing letters again.
that way i can write them during class and mail them off on the way back to my room.
jdip
Post a Comment